Disabilities

To those who question disabled people about their disability so you can understand. It is not our job or responsibility to educate you. Don’t expect us to answer your insensitive questions. All your questions are insensitive. We don’t need to justify our disabilities to you. It is challenging to live with a disability. It is also challenging for us to understand. We figure it out day by day, learning to accept our challenges and limits and celebrate successes. If you want to be helpful, accept that we know what we need. Accept that we know our abilities and limitations. Do not question us until you understand why we may refuse an invitation. There are books, magazines, and websites you can access to get basic knowledge of our disabilities. You will not become an authority. You will not learn as much as we know. You will not know all about our disabilities. And lastly, we are all individuals. So, even if we may share the same condition, our challenges are very different.

Summer

My summer was amazing! For the first time in 14 years, I was not depressed. A result of a brain injury is depression. I have also been in indescribable pain between headaches (not migraines) and my knee. Add to that the loss of my career ,which was much of my identity, losing my house, and so much more. I lost me. I was an indigo blue. This summer so much changed. I settled into a comfortable routine. Up in the morning. Feed my dogs then myself. (Yes in that order.) Next curled up in bed and read for about an hour. Dressed, walked the dogs by the river where we greet the river people. Ran any errands. For lunch I’d walk to the senior center for a tasty meal that I didn’t have to cook. The dogs and I took a nice nap. While they continued to sleep, I’d read and do crafts. That was my day. One loss for me was reading. I was always a ferocious reader. In high school I complained about reading assignments because they interfered with what I was reading. The books I read were far superior to the assigned books. With my brain injury concentration was difficult and I forgot what I was reading as soon as I read it. When I closed the book it was gone as well as the title. Frustrated, I gave up. This summer I had a wonderful visit with my artist friend in Sequim. She loaned me I Am Your Man. Leonard Cohen’s biography. The book sat on a shelf for a couple weeks before I anxiously picked it up. I wanted to know about Cohen’s life but worried about forgetting each page as I read it. Once I started reading I couldn’t put it down. I read like the old Nancy, lost in a world I’ve never seen. Just another page. I’ll just finish this chapter. Nancy, you have to go to sleep. Put the book down. I remembered most of what I’d read! Next I read Jim Hanson’s biography, Gil Scott-Heron, and Zelda Fitzgerald. I am in heaven. Walking by the river with Gina and Charlie was a highlight of the day. We’d see the same people everyday and even the same dogs. Of course there were new people out for lunch or taking a slow walk in the sunshine. We greet each other with a soft smile and a hello. Once in a while we’d talk for a few minutes, mostly about Gina and Charlie. Small children ran from the playground to pet them. Their smiles were always so bright and real. This summer I was almost me and I felt great.