March 9, 2014

I was angry for a long time; angry and frustrated at what had happened to me, at the men who caused my injury, at doctors and other medical professionals, at people at my job, and at myself. I have changed into someone I don’t recognize. My whole life has changed into one I don’t know how to live. Working with limitations has sent me into fits of rage and periods of deep depression. Five years after I stopped working and did little more than rest almost constantly, I am accepting myself where I am now. Fortunately my health has improved significantly although I have a way to go to be myself again and who knows for sure if that will ever happen? One challenge is memory or the lack of memory. Others are doing math without a calculator and trying to manage my checking account (Although that has improved. I haven’t overdrawn my account for a couple years.) It took a while but I can manage my medication. For a while I mixed up the pills or would take the morning ones at night. The day passes more smoothly. Then comes a day like today when I forgot to turn off the burner under a pot again. Nothing happened as I caught it in time. And I wonder why I eat frozen dinners. I just need to keep working on remembering. One more challenge.